Name This Bear 2: Electric Beargaloo
My name is… what? My name is… who?
All right, it’s time for another edition of Name This Bear. Here is the ultra-fine ursine for June on my 2010 Black Bear Wall Calendar. I was thinking of the name Dandelion, for obvious reasons, but then I thought: Kinda looks like a dude. So then I was like, maybe Smoky, because that plant he’s chewing sort of looks like a cigarette (or that cigarette he’s chewing sort of looks like a plant?). But, really, I don’t think a bear should be defined by his (or her) vices and/or surrounding flora. Though, if this bear ever starts a band, it will definitely be called Surrounding Flora.
Anyhoo, take a look at that handsome, possibly smoking mug and let me know what you think. Just leave your name (for the bear) in the comments. I thank you, and what’s-his-name thanks you.
Now I’m thinking Bizmark or Buzzles or something like that. I don’t know why; naming bears is very intuitive.
I would name him European Stock Market. And his brother is U.S. Stock Market. And their close friend is Asian Stock Market. All bears, all the time. Happy 2010.
That’s great: We can call him Euro for short! It’s so catchy… Nothing could go wrong with something called that.
Marl-Bear-O
I like it! He’s tried to quit, but he doesn’t have much exposed skin for nicotine patches, and he has trouble chewing gum.
Bear Growls
Bear Grylls actually has a surprisingly sensible fear of bears. He seemed sort of freaked out about them in at least two episodes (as opposed to, say, his near indifference to elephants and lions).
…Hm.
What about Dimitri. He looks like a Dimitri… maybe he’s a Russian mobster and he’s looking for his money in dandelion fields. Or he’s looking to bury someone who didn’t give him his money. But wouldn’t he of eaten them already? Hmm.
Or maybe he’s looking for the spot where he buried the money after eating the person?
In any case, yep, you are totally and obviously right about the first part: This bear is clearly a Russian mobster. I don’t know why I didn’t see it before! And he does kind of look like a Dimitri…
Ohohoho, I see what you did there.
Yessir, he is a Russian mobster. Anywho, I’m thinking he’s looking to wack some (dandelion) heads. Name or not.
Or maybe he just likes looking at dandelions… He could be the Ferdinand the Bull of Russian mob bears.