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Jun 14 / Michael

A contest for all Times!

So I just went to the deli and got a large coffee and the Sunday New York Times, which I am in. Not the coffee—it’s not that large!—the Times. The money line of the review is clearly the last one: “Northrop’s first novel is creepy, yet it has what can pass for a happy—or at least satisfying—ending.” Yet it could be so much moneyer! That’s where you come in.

Simply write your own ending to the sentence: “Northrop’s first novel is creepy, yet . . . .

For example, Northrop’s first novel is creepy, yet so is Northrop. So much fun! So much easy!

Just leave your entry as a comment. The winner will be picked by a celebrity* guest judge and will receive amazing** prizes! This is my first contest and it starts . . . now!

[We have a winner! Click here for the results]

* Probably another writer [update: But maybe an NHL player!]
** Probably a signed book and a ridiculous toy


34 Comments

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  1. Rebecca / Jun 14 2009

    “Northrop’s first novel is creepy, yet with more ZOMBIES it could be EVEN CREEPIER.”

    LOLZ!!!! 😀

  2. Debbie / Jun 14 2009

    “Northrop’s first novel is creepy, yet in a good, Christopher Walken way, not in a sad, Michael Jackson way.”

    Congrats!

  3. peter / Jun 14 2009

    Northrop’s first novel is creepy, but not as creepy as a conservative. Wait a minute…

  4. Leigh Stein / Jun 14 2009

    Northrop’s first novel is creepy, yet definitely more satisfying than Iranian election fraud.

  5. Michael / Jun 14 2009

    Ah, the contest has taken on a decidedly political tone… Where will it go next?

  6. Devyn Burton / Jun 14 2009

    “Northrop’s first novel is creepy, yet, so is my aunt Marge!”

  7. Kurtis / Jun 14 2009

    Northrop’s first novel is creepy, yet, comes with a free 8-pack of crayons for the coloring pages included with the new expanded author’s edition. Colors include barrel blue, blood red, and body bag black.

  8. Kurtis / Jun 14 2009

    Oh, and to stay on the political theme… the colors also include “secret” muslin white.

  9. Michael / Jun 14 2009

    Well, that is certainly the most colorful entry to date!

  10. Melissa Walker / Jun 14 2009

    “Northrop’s first novel is creepy, yet there are many creepier things that aren’t nearly as entertaining as GENTLEMEN. Like the Hair Club for Men. And ALF.”

  11. Kristen Kemp / Jun 14 2009

    Michael Northrop’s first novel is creepy, yet it’s uplifting. Think sparkling butterflies, smiling ladybugs and, of course, unicorns.

  12. bottlerocketscience / Jun 15 2009

    Michael Northrop’s first novel is creepy, yet…look behind you!

  13. nisha / Jun 15 2009

    Northrop’s first novel is creepy, sort of like the golden girls on crack.

    <3Nisha

  14. Greg McElhatton / Jun 15 2009

    “Northrop’s first novel is creepy, yet at 256 pages it’s not necessary to go through all the hassle of a restraining order.”

  15. joe / Jun 15 2009

    Northrop’s first novel is creepy, yet in sheer creepiness it pales in comparison to its sequels, NORTHROP HAS DISCOVERED A TIME MACHINE WITH WHICH HE WILL WRITE ALL HIS NOVELS AND RELEASE THEM SIMULTANEOUSLY, and the sequel CREEPY TIME MACHINE NORTHROP IS AT IT AGAIN.

  16. \m/ / Jun 15 2009

    “Northrop’s first novel is creepy, yet what did you really expect from a guy who sits around his dark, dank apartment in a bathrobe all day, eating Peeps, sipping 79-cent generic orange soda and thinking about kids getting stuffed in blue barrels by some lurpy English teacher?”

  17. Michael / Jun 15 2009

    Listen, Lane, I don’t know how you got a hold of my shopping list (Peeps, generic orange soda, new bathrobe), but you don’t get any extra points for that.

  18. Genevieveg / Jun 15 2009

    “Northrop’s first novel is creepy, yet not as creepy as Michael himself stalking you all over BEA and other various YA book related gatherings.”

    Hehehe, I had to put that in since you were stalking us. A really good stalker, like you, gets to the event before the stalkees arrive. It may have seemed like we were following you but we all know that you were the one doing the following. : P

  19. Genevieve / Jun 15 2009

    ahhh. I double posted. SORRY.

  20. Michael / Jun 15 2009

    That’s OK. I used my awesome admin powers to delete the second one. Also, you need to give credit where it’s due: You were all excellent stalkees, always showing up right at my stake-out spots. It’s a true talent!

  21. J-Ro At Play / Jun 16 2009

    Northrop’s first novel is creepy, yet….strangely nutritious. Composed mainly from corn, cheese and yesterday’s fishwrap, it contains only 12 grams of artery-clogging trans-fat, and properly shredded, can enhance a caesar salad or fiesty bowl of gazpacho with a literary insousiance that this reviewer, quite frankly, hasn’t seen since the Six-Alarm Chili down at Big Frank’s House of Eats. This is real brain food, folks, in an age of cranial junk food and we recommend to the class that it grab a slice of Northrop’s magnum o-pie before it gets up and walks off the plate and out of your lfie forever, much to your dismay.

  22. Michael / Jun 16 2009

    Which reminds me: It’s time for lunch. Thanks, John!

  23. Paradox / Jun 16 2009

    Northrop’s first novel is creepy, yet the fact that girls actually wish Edward Cullen (*stalker*) was their boyfriend is creepier.

  24. J-Ro At Play / Jun 17 2009

    Yer welcome, O Mighty Published Author….congratulations! I always knew you had a mangum o-pie in you…or on your tie at least…btw, good to see me rented fingers worked on that last post…..your book will indeed walk out of a person’s lfie….that’s what I meant. Really….

  25. Lynn / Jun 17 2009

    Northrop’s first novel is creepy . . . yet not NEARLY as creepy as your collection of stolen prosthetic limbs (including that prosthetic tiny monkey leg, who even knew monkey’s had such things!) Or that jellied thing in the jar that you bought from that tag sale that time that you named and talk to “as a joke”. But it’s really not a joke (WE KNOW IT’S NOT A JOKE!) Or that little pillow you made of clippings of your ex’s hair that you liberated from her head, bit-by-bit, while she was sleeping. Oh no, not even close. Don’t worry, GENTLEMEN will be old hat to the likes of you!

  26. Anna Marie / Jun 18 2009

    Northrop’s first novel is creepy, yet … sufficient light and company make it a bearable spine tinglier.

  27. Gavin / Jun 18 2009

    Northrop’s first novel is creepy, yet not as creepy as George W. Bush.

    The old grudges, they don’t go away.

  28. Michael / Jun 18 2009

    Hi Gavin. Indeed, one could argue that those grudges just get better with age, like a sweet Balkan wine.

  29. Website Reviews / Jun 21 2009

    Lovely blog! Thanks for the useful information.

  30. gorgas / Jun 30 2009

    “Northrop’s first novel is creepy, yet it is not probable that this monomania in him took its instant rise at the precise time of his bodily dismemberment.”

    -by (liz) gorgas and herman (melville)

  31. gorgas / Jun 30 2009

    “Northrop’s first novel is creepy, yet i fear
    no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
    no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
    and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant
    and whatever a sun will always sing is you”

    -by (liz) gorgas and ee (cummings)

  32. gorgas / Jun 30 2009

    “Northrop’s first novel is creepy, yet I promise you what I promised Moses: ‘Wherever you set foot, you will be on land I have given you … No one will be able to stand against you as long as you live. For I will be with you as I was with Moses. I will not fail you or abandon you.”

    -by (liz) gorgas and Big G(od)

  33. Libbie Hanzely / Dec 16 2010

    Awesome site u have here

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