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Aug 25 / Michael

Do we have a winner? Duey ever!

Lo these many years (few months) ago, my book was reviewed in the New York Times Book Review, and I held a contest to celebrate. I then spent months dicking around with the NHL. They were supposed to provide a judge. They still haven’t. No matter: I lined up a celebrity guest judge whose sheer awesomeness cross-checks any hockey player right through the glass. Allow me to present Kathleen Duey, author of the dark YA fantasy Skin Hunger, which was nominated for the National Book Award (and was one of my favorite books last year). The sequel (part two of a trilogy), Sacred Scars, is just out. How cool is this cover?


Anyway, Kathleen took time out from her beyond busy book-just-out schedule to judge the contest. No big deal, you say? Spoken like someone who hasn’t read the 30 or so awesome entries. The task was to complete the money sentence from the Times review: “Northrop’s first novel is creepy, yet . . .”

Without further ado (there has been two month’s worth of ado already. Screw you, Buffalo Sabres!), here are the winners, along with Kathleen’s comments:

So, the Winner: “Because it is not just clever, it IS money. You KNOW this will sell books.”
“Northrop’s first novel is creepy, yet what did you really expect from a guy who sits around his dark, dank apartment in a bathrobe all day, eating Peeps, sipping 79-cent generic orange soda and thinking about kids getting stuffed in blue barrels by some lurpy English teacher?”
—by \m/
[Ed note: Sometimes it is Cadbury Creme Eggs, grape soda, and kids trapped in a blizzard.]

Runner up: “Because who knew Melville even DID reviews?”
“Northrop’s first novel is creepy, yet it is not probable that this monomania in him took its instant rise at the precise time of his bodily dismemberment.”
—by (liz) gorgas and herman (melville)

Honorable mention: “Because who doesn’t love crayons?”
“Northrop’s first novel is creepy, yet, comes with a free 8-pack of crayons for the coloring pages included with the new expanded author’s edition. Colors include barrel blue, blood red, and body bag black.”
—by Kurtis (A powerful clue as to Kurtis’s real identity can be found here. . .)

So there you have it: Mysterious commenter \m/ (those are devil horns, by the way; they are pronounced Lane) wins the prize: a signed book and random, awesome toy-like-thing. The runner-up is not technically entitled to a prize, but I may get Melville a wind-up bathtub whale, just because.

Thanks to everyone who took part! The entries were hilarious. You all rock. And thanks to Kathleen —buy Sacred Scars! Read it, learn it, love it. As for the NHL, they’re on thin ice with me. I still haven’t forgiven them for moving the Hartford Whalers. Neither has Melville.


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  1. Melissa Walker / Aug 26 2009

    Good contest. Witty entries. Awesome judge. WIN!

  2. Michael / Aug 26 2009

    Thanks, Melissa! As you know, it was my first, fledgling attempt at a contest. The 2+ month time-frame is at least a semi-fail, but I have been in the woods for one of those. And I really should’ve asked for a Canadian player: They are much more helpful.

  3. gorgas / Aug 26 2009

    ah man so close. i mean, i’m okay with not winning but i really hate to be the one to tell herman… this’ll just kill him

  4. Michael / Aug 26 2009

    Break it to him gently: He’s 190 years old (and has been dealing with critics for most of those).

  5. ACW / Aug 26 2009

    [Cadbury Creme Eggs are awesome. Peeps are good, too…but Cadbury Creme Eggs are DIVINE.
    (dammit, now I want one – like, right now).]

  6. Michael / Aug 27 2009

    They make orange Creme Eggs now. I wouldn’t go looking for any vitamin C in them, but they are wonderful.

  7. ACW / Aug 27 2009

    Oh man! you’re killing me here – will these be out for Halloween, too? maybe?! (disguised..cloaked! in pumpkin foil wrapping or such?) I LIVE for Creme Eggs to come out every spring … my Cadbury Egg hunts start early and in earnest.
    {{craving craving}}

    PS: bathrobes are fetching! 😉

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