Michael Northrop

I know at least three people dealing with insomnia right now. My friend Facebook told me. I used to have trouble with that (insomnia, not Facebook). It sucked. I vividly remember one instance in particular, lying awake all night in a Kansas City hotel room and watching the sun slowly bleed through the curtains before slumping off to cover a wrestling tournament. I don’t have a problem sleeping anymore, and here is one of the things that helped me.

Say hello to my little friend: the red panda [ailurus fulgens]. If you go to the Central Park Zoo, Goodwin and Jen will probably be sleeping. That’s not even the question. The question is: Will you get a decent view of them sleeping? Last time I was there, Jen hadn’t arrived yet, and I saw only the tip of Goodwin’s tail hanging down from a tree branch. And I could only see that from a certain angle that involved me nearly falling into the pen.

Red pandas sleep about 20 hours a day, even at the zoo. Even with a foxy new lady-friend around (you just know that every red panda pickup line ends with “and sleep together”). People walk by, gawp, take pictures with their phones, and they just sleep through it all. Why? Because they’re tired; bamboo provides crap energy, and their little red bodies tell them it’s time to sleep. You probably see where I’m going with this.

At some point during my insomnia, I got a semi-decent, quasi-unobstructed view of Goodwin doing what Goodwin does, and I just found it very calming. Insomnia is such a human thing, and sometimes we just need to panda out, you know? They’re fed; they’ve got nice, safe spots in the tree; and if there’s anything else they need to think about, they can do it in about eight hours. Why are we any different?

Anyway, it helped me. If you’re having trouble sleeping, just try to panda out, and know that somewhere, at exactly that moment, there’s a red panda sleeping, too. Possibly all of them.

I want to go to the Central Park Zoo at least one more time this year, so I just checked to see when it closes for the season. Here’s the thing about that: It doesn’t. The zoo is open 365 days a year. They have “Boo at the Zoo” on October 30-31, and in December, you can help give the animals their presents: fishcicles, fruit, peanut butter, and maybe a pudgy baby new float toy for the polar bears.

The last time I went, the new snow leopard habitat was set up, but the actual snow leopards weren’t there yet. They have arrived now, and I definitely want to check out those cool customers. I would also like to see more than the tip of the red panda’s tail this time. Little dude’s elusive.

Central Park Zoo, April 27, 2009. Listed in no particular order.



Chinstrap penguins
Bats!
Dexter cow, which I petted
Polar bears, which I did not
Prehensile-tailed slink
Superb starling
Bufflehead (like a little duck)
Black and white ruffed lemur (panda-colored)
Red panda (red-panda-colored)
Sea lions (It was feeding time! They do tricks!)

IMPORTANT NOTE: The snow leopards arrive on June 13, so I will probably have to amend this list then. Snow leopards are rock stars, in every sense, as they thrive in high rocky terrain.
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