Michael Northrop

Here they are, listed, as usual, in the order I thought of them . . .

1) America’s Got Talons

Elimination round…

2) So You Think You Can Pounce
3) Jersey Shoal
4) Wife Swamp
5) Dirty Jerboas
6) Undercover Bass
7) Catty Gibbon: My Life being Deloused
8] Wild vs. Man
9) John & Kate: As Bait
10) Dancing with the Steers

It’s not the size of the dog in the fight, it’s the size of the fight in the dog. Unless it’s a really enormous dog, like a St. Bernard, in which case, yes, it is the size of the dog in the fight.

This is going to be a short fight . . .

It’s not the genus, it’s the species.

It’s not the snakes, it’s the fact that they are on the plane.

It’s not the rats, it’s the fleas.

It’s not even the fleas so much; it’s the fact that fleas can carry diseases, such as the plague.

It’s not the heat, it’s the humanity.

It’s not the yellow anaconda, since they are relatively small; it’s the green, or giant, anaconda.

BEAR RAID, noun:

1) An illegal attempt to lower the market price of a security by heavy selling or short selling (and then buying the stock cheaply to cover the short position). Bear raids are often carried out by large groups of traders, in order to influence the price as much as possible.

2) An attempt by bears to acquire as much food as possible—such as honey, salmon, or berries—by rampaging around and growling and knocking stuff over. Bear raids should always be carried out by large groups of bears, because they are more awesome that way.

Central Park Zoo, April 27, 2009. Listed in no particular order.



Chinstrap penguins
Bats!
Dexter cow, which I petted
Polar bears, which I did not
Prehensile-tailed slink
Superb starling
Bufflehead (like a little duck)
Black and white ruffed lemur (panda-colored)
Red panda (red-panda-colored)
Sea lions (It was feeding time! They do tricks!)

IMPORTANT NOTE: The snow leopards arrive on June 13, so I will probably have to amend this list then. Snow leopards are rock stars, in every sense, as they thrive in high rocky terrain.
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